Answering not that much

Each of them had a sparkle in ther eyes, each of them made me happier and a little sadder too. I loved the smiles and the hugs, the talks and the laughs, the kisses and the desire...I miss the silent moment before a surprise, I miss the first times. They loved the kindness, the butterflies and dreams, from the innocence of a first kissed girl to the revenged smile of a bitch. They also ran away from that, they hid themselves from the crazy plans that may include them without their permission....they changed or I did, they left or I sent them away, they are different now...I'm still dreaming about senseless words.

She left but sometimes I think I left before her. She is buried in a fucking cementery, I don't know where my ashes are supposed to be. That day I lost myself, that day is not even the day she died, that day is not even related to her...that day I lost me and I don't even know which date was it!

And home, home is my bed and my dog in my arms when I wake up and realize it is still 3am and I can continue slepping, home is his arms and his mouth saying I love you while waking me up with kisses, home is both of us in a car watching the sunset in the middle of the highway, home is safety and sometimes it is so far away and some others, it is right in front of my crying eyes.

“I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with. Tell me why you loved them, then tell me why they loved you. Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through. Tell me what the word “home” means to you (...) "
Asking too much by Andrea Gibson 



te odio

A veces quisiera poder llamarte y decirte q te odio,
a veces quisiera poder toparte y expresarte cuánto te detesto,
a veces quisiera poder encontrarte y destruirte como añoro hacerlo.

Y luego me despierto entre lágrimas, y me doy cuenta q le estoy queriendo ver cara a quién no tiene rostro. 
Y me doy cuenta q estoy hablándole de nuevo a la muerte cual persona,
y me doy cuenta q le odio...no es persona, pero es la única a la q detesto.
Y me doy cuenta q la desgraciada me quitó tanto y aún así no puedo reclamarle!
Y me doy cuenta q siempre va a ganar y no soporto la idea.
Y me doy cuenta q sigo agarrándo la vida de los demás con una fuerza q es cada día mas fuerte, luchando xq no se atreva a acercarse más...no x un tiempo, no a mi familia, no a mi hombre perfecto o a quienes quiero, no a mis bebés de 4 patas o cualquier otro perro q me tope en la calle...

A veces quisiera tanto q tengas rostro....para poder demostrarte cuánto te odio!